Spiritual Surrogates

On the night of January 20, 2022 I dreamt I was pregnant. In the dream I was a surrogate for another woman, who happens to be a real-life personal friend of mine. Ironically she was my surrogate as well. In the natural, a surrogate is a substitute, especially a person deputizing for another in a specific role or office. Most often we think of surrogates as surrogate mothers; which is what the dream depicts.

 In the dream, I gave birth to a baby boy and named him Maximus. There was no labor, no pain, no travail. In fact, the baby was born inside a womb type encasement, but suddenly outside my body. It was the strangest experience to witness in a dream. One moment I was very pregnant and the next moment the baby is outside of me. Yet, those in the room knew he had been born. In that moment, I named him Maximus; which means “Greatest”.

Typically, the dreams I have that are significant are extremely detailed even down to the colors and placement of objects. The Lord will often give direction and clarity for my life, marriage and ministry in my dreams as well. So I felt it was important to describe the atmosphere of the room. 

The delivery room felt like a warehouse, everything was gray and dark. The tables we gave birth on were sleek, steel tables. Somewhat like the metal tables you’d see the deceased laying on… maybe prepping for an autopsy in a crime-drama film. There were three of these, lined up in the dimly lit room. No doctors, no staff, no buzzing maternity ward. Just a room in a warehouse with slabs for tables and a silent woman on the third table in the shadows.

At the first table is where I somewhat effortlessly gave birth with no pain to the “Greatest”, Maximus, and immediately handed him to my friend. I was her surrogate and this baby I had birthed belonged to her. I turned to the left and there was the baby she had birthed laying on the middle table already. My friend had given birth simultaneous to me. I gasped and said, “Oh she is already born.”  to which my friend replied, “Yes, the doctor just came in to do a little procedure.” So I scooped her up and swaddled her and noticed a red streak going through her hair. That is when I named her Clara Rose. The third table remained occupied with another woman in labor, when I suddenly woke up. I believe that third woman is you, dear reader. One who has been laboring in the shadows, trying to birth a destiny dream.

This dream haunted me all the next day of January 21, and has taken me this long to pen down. I can not shake the imagery of surrogacy and carrying one another’s babies until the time of fulfillment. I felt prompted to release this word on Mother’s Day. This year, it happens to fall in the 8th day of the month, which means new beginnings. So be encouraged as you read that God is bringing you exactly what is needed for this new season and you will birth from the shadows into the bright light. 

 In January, I began looking up the meaning of these children’s names and praying into what God could be showing me. As previously stated, Maximus is of Latin origin and means “Greatest”. Clara or Klara is also Latin and means, “clear, bright, famous”. Rose is also of Latin origin and means, “rose, a flower”.  Rose is derived from the Latin rosa, which referred to the flower. There is also evidence to suggest it was a Norman variation of the Germanic name Hrodohaidis, meaning “famous type,” and also Hros, “horse”. In Old English it was translated as Roese and Rohese. 

I began to ponder what my friend specifically meant, because dreams are most likely intrinsic, but can add value to the people around you if interpreted properly. To me, this person represents Creativity and The Creative. Which, I found to be wildly fascinating as the word I designated for 2022 was, in fact, Create.  You see, each year I name that year for what I feel it’s intention or purpose is. 

So, with naming this year Create and then twenty days in, I have this incredible dream about birthing the greatest when partnering with creativity. I thought, “What else could this mean?” What am I to carry off or leave with once I have given birth as a surrogate to another’s baby? Well, in this dream, I carried off Clara Rose or what I call the Bright Horse. This was personal to me, in regards to clarity or clear vision when partnering with the creative; that it will bring about the greatest completion of assignments. 

Yet, I also believe that you as the reader are represented in the third woman. I believe as we partner in divine alignment, we will carry one another’s destiny-dreams and actually birth them. There are many who have labored, trying to bring forth God-dreams but have not yet brought them to term or fullness. In this next season, God is raising up the surrogates. Surrogates in the spirit who will help carry and birth a dream for another. The designated ones who aid in bringing the promise to fruition and completion. Your greatest season of clarity is upon you and the ones God is aligning you with will be the surrogates you have needed to help birth from the spirit the divine purposes and dreams inside of you. The season of travail is over, as the ease of the anointing is now upon you this new day. 

Dream Killers

I killed my own dream.

Laid it to rest over 2 years ago…

Listened to the lies. Listened to the opinions forced upon me. Listened to negative internal dialogue. Listened to fear. Listened to all the reasons why I shouldn’t, couldn’t and now rebelliously wouldn’t.

The thing about dreams is, they don’t disappear. They don’t curtsey at the door on their way out or say “My Pleasure” as they pull away down a winding gravel driveway into the Spring night air. No, they lurk. They haunt. They hang from the awnings of your covered front porch and they whisper light like the star-lit sky. They exhale hope. They scurry across floorboards as you occupy yourself with monotonous tasks, seeding your mind with creative genius. Dreams are never dead. You can kill them, but they never die.

So even though I put to rest a dream I held deep in my heart, this week the Lord said… There’s Resurrection in your DNA. So even though I quit on myself. Even though I boxed up a treasure to save for another lifetime… another season… God did not quit on me and He has not quit on you. Unbox the dream once again, dig up the grave – there’s resurrection in your DNA.

A Moment. A Memory.

Cleaning out not just closets, but computers…

I came across this photo from about 6 years ago and it all came flooding back. It’s like that sometimes, isn’t it? I don’t often use the word trigger, but sometimes it is just that. A springboard of sorts taking us down a trail of memories with a swirl of emotion and a dance with the past. An entire book could be written on all the things that transpired around this moment. We were early on in our itinerant ministry, and traveling as a family was a priority at this time. Though each trip looked different, we always enjoyed taking our kids with us and including them.

If you were there for this specific weekend, you may have had a glimpse… maybe you saw me standing in the foyer of the church with sippy cup in hand, corralling my toddler. Maybe you walked past me as I sat on the floor with my 7 year old and played with him in the aisles.

But what is not photographed; the miles traveled with 2 young kids, the hours of playing and praying to prepare for ministry that weekend, the laughs with a kind woman who always welcomed me into her home, the tears I cried in my minivan after the child-care worker refused to watch my kids, the new South African friends I made, the woman who told me I wasn’t called to travel the nations with my husband, the homemade pancakes… 

Oh the stories I have gathered, oh the tales that I could tell. I’m just glad I showed up, even if I was in “mom-mode” on many a ministry trip with “highly active” children… I would not trade it for anything else. So dear ones, dear ministry wives and preacher’s wives and ones that keep showing up even when they don’t feel qualified or prepared. Keep at it. One thing I have learned from all the travels and all the encounters and all the opinions and all the people; deep in the heart of your family lies treasure. Deep in the soul of your children lies legacy. So I may show up with no make-up and my Dr. Quinn mom bun, but I’m all in… and today, I am all in praying for you. I pray that God would reveal to you the hidden treasures in your every day moments of life. I pray that He would encourage and strengthen your soul and that you’d continue to shine bright.

Set Apart Podcast Episode

You guys… this was so incredible to record and I love that I get to share it with you! Click any of the links below to access Jamie’s podcast and the episode where I am talking about Peace.

In this weeks episode of Set Apart with Jamie Lyn Wallnau our guest Brynn Shamp shares a message on peace during the pandemic! It is filled with wisdom, love and practical advice during this time. I have a feeling you’re gonna LOVE IT!!!

Apple Podcasts:


Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy85NDg3MTI0L3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz