HELP I am ALL Over the Place

by Cycelia Matthews

Have you ever gotten up in the morning and it’s already midnight in your mind? That was the story of my life for a long period of time. My days would look like nights and my night looked days.  For the last eight years I have had the privilege of pastoring alongside my awesome husband, Bishop “RJ” Matthews. We pastor a thriving church, Kingdom Vision International Church, in the friendly city of Columbus, Mississippi.  I have 3 beautiful children Robert Charles, Micah Jeremiah and Faith Zamir. My morning started out around 6:00 and ended about 12:30 the next morning. I needed balance because my life was “all over the place.” My titles range from Pastor-PTA MOM.  I have been asked on several occasions “How do you balance life and ministry?”  I really could not answer the question that I still needed help with.  I had to find what I call a healthy BALANCE.

In order to find this balance I had to do an evaluation of my life. I had GOD as the head but there were so many other things that were out of order.  I had to prioritize my life! I begin to list what was most important first. I discovered I spent more time helping others outside of my family. I gave most of my good energy to them. My children would only get the tired, drained, upset mommy. My husband was getting the aggravated, annoyed, and angry wife. My life needed a shift. I needed a shift. My family needed me to shift. So I did. I begin to shift my energy towards the ones that I knew would give out genuine unconditional love to me and that was my immediate family.  Your first ministry is your family. Take time for family nights. Take family vacations to the zoo or just to a local hotel to just get away from the norm.  Take the children to the park to run and play. They enjoy the simple while we enjoy the extravagant.  Don’t miss important moments like dance recitals, school plays, and baseball games.

My husband found me days at a time completely drained of energy. I am 31 years old surely I shouldn’t be tired from walking from the car to the couch but I would be exhausted.  We must spend time with the one we made covenant with.  WE promised to love and to cherish them. Cherish is to keep or cultivate with care and affection.  The key word in the definition is to cultivate which means to improve by labor.  Marriage is work. In order to cultivate the marriage one must put in work. There are no off days. Every day is a day of discovery. Always make your spouse your number one priority. Send text messages during the day. Call at random times. Complement one another on their choice of outfit for the day. Encourage and Affirm who GOD says that they are. Most men need words of affirmation. They need to know that you approve of their work ethic and you appreciate their desire to take care of the home. You are their biggest cheerleader! They want to hear from you on how well they are doing. It drives them. Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her house and fool will tear it down with her own hands.” It’s up to the wife to build her husband! She speaks life into him even when he feels as if he is a failure! Continue to appreciate the small things. Be grateful that the lights are on and the water is running! Women like me enjoy “quality time”!  I enjoy simple spontaneous dates. You could pay lots of money and take me to Paris but I would choose a” Burger and Fries Date.” Husbands should learn your wife’s love language and commit to doing the things that mean the most to her.

Ministry was my next mountain to climb. The ministry that GOD has given to my husband and I was very time consuming. It was time consuming in a good way though.  We love our church family! Everyone there is very unique and gifted. They bring so much joy to our family.  In order to prioritize my time with the church I had to change my perspective of the ministry and treat it like a business. We set a daily schedule. We used what most corporations call a “5 Most Important to Do List.” In order to get tasks accomplished and to chart progress we would write what was most important as our #1 thing to do on that particular day. Each day was different and the urgency to complete was different depending on the day.  We charted this and begin to see results. I was able to mark off things that I would normally put off doing. So take my advice if” it can wait” Guess what “It can Wait” Just that simple. Don’t try to be  superwoman and conquer everything in one day. It is not possible. It took GOD 7 days to create the world surely you can’t fix everything in one day.

Every area of my life would have suffered if I didn’t get a grip and realize I was all over the place.  I now know the value of everything that GOD has entrusted in my care. My marriage, being a mom and being a minister is a privilege that I get to enjoy. I will never take for granted the “LIFE” that GOD has given to this little ole lady from West Point, Ms. I will never take for granted these amazing people HE has given me the privilege to learn and to grow with. I am forever grateful that now I can finally say I have the answer to this Balance thing. I decided to get a GRIP!

More about the Author: 


Prophetess Cycelia Denise Matthews was saved and baptized at the age of 8.  She accepted her call to the ministry on July 16, 2004 and preached her first sermon on November 24, 2004.  On December 9th 2006, she was joined in marriage to Bishop Robert C. Matthews, Jr. As God blessed their marriage they gave birth to their 1st son, Robert C. Matthews III on December 14th, 2007, to their 2nd son, Micah Jeremiah Matthews on November 1st, 2011, to their 1st daughter and 3rd child, Faith Zamir Matthews on October 27, 2014.

Prophetess Cycelia Matthews, as First Lady, is an active member of Kingdom Vision International Church in Columbus, MS under the leadership of her husband, Bishop RJ Matthews.  

Prophetess Cycelia Matthews is also the founder and visionary of Cycelia Matthews Ministries (CMM) where her vision is to bring people of all denominations, ethnicities, and cultures to the feet of Jesus As a result of CMM, the Proverbs 31:31 Fellowship has been birthed. A ministry dedicated to strengthening, empowering, & promoting Pastor’s Wives to excel in their marriages, ministries, & communities for the Kingdom of God. Her desire is to lead those of broken hearts and wounded spirits to a life-changing worship experience at the feet of Jesus. 


Published by brynnshamp

Brynn Leigh Shamp is the Creator & Author of Diary of a Preacher’s Wife. She is the Co-Founder and Executive Director of Destiny Encounters International, a ministry formed in 2009 with her husband, Charlie Shamp. Her blog was designed to tell her story and to inspire others in their own life’s journey. Her articles include topics such as faith, family, marriage, ministry and world travel. When she’s not out canvassing the globe, she resides with her husband and three children in Moravian Falls, NC. Her favorite things include: Books, books and more books; all things Jane Austen; Italian Food; Making her Mother laugh; Journals, Planners & Details…

5 thoughts on “HELP I am ALL Over the Place

  1. Thank you for sharing!! I really needed to hear this!! Be Blessed and continue your gift of ministry to God’s people!!

  2. Thank you, Brynn, for posting. Pastor Cycelia is a woman after my heart. I loved her article. “Balance” is the key God gave me too. I also have been given the same vision of “unity” in the Body of Christ— cross-cultural, cross-generational, and cross-denominational. Like her “bio” states, worship at the feet of Jesus brings the deepest encounters with God Himself and heals the broken-hearted. Wonderful!❤️ Sent from my iPad


  3. This is awesome 1st Lady! I love it. Continue to push and don’t give up, you got people like me that’s watching you, I watch you because I’m encouraged by you and by the life you live. I appreciate you, I love you!!

  4. Cycelia, Thank you for your honest and transparent depiction of your experiences as a mother, minister and pastor’s wife. It it such positive and helpful insight for women all over the world. Please remember that in your quest to acquire and maintain that balance that as long as God is pleased with you that everything else will fall in line. I want to encourage you to create and learn as much as you can about creating and maintaining healthy boundaries and margins. Your journey is a tedious one but one filled with great purpose, enjoyment and endless rewards. I am so happy and proud of you. God bless you-Paulette

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